:Sigh:

Wow, I just can't seem to keep up. These last few days have been pretty stressful and I can't believe this is all happening. I got hurt last Monday at work. I have a splint on my hand and it's kinda painful and a real pain in the ass. That was just the beginning. The researcher I am working under (the one I had a "great feeling about") was very upset with the whole situation. And boy was I wrong about my initial impression... Thursday rolls around and it is super tense at work. We were anticipating a meeting with him at the end of the day so we worked super hard to make sure everything was perfect. About 20min before the end of my shift he calls me in to his office to terminate me!! So, long story short: Monday = injury, Thursday = termination, Friday = termination rescinded, Tuesday = 1st day back at work with a "temporary reassignment" and a meeting with HR.

I know my blood pressure is through the roof and I really wish I could find a way to de-stress that didn't involve shoveling large amounts of high fat food into my face at an alarming rate. I've actually been pretty good about the food, likely because I start to feel sick when I think about how tomorrow is going to pan out. I know he must be angry that he was forced to rescind my termination and I think it's possible that he may try to make things really bad/ uncomfortable for me in the hopes that I back down and leave.

The truth is, I really want to back down and leave. I don't want to deal with this stress and I don't want to work somewhere that my boss obviously doesn't want me there. However, I need the job, for sure. But more than that, I want to make sure I am setting a good example for the munchkin. How can I push her to stand up for herself when she gets bullied when I won't even do it for myself? How can I teach her to stand up for the right thing if I run away instead? So, for her, I will stay and fight this. I'll be miserable and cranky and I'm probably going to accumulate several new "uncolored" hairs in the process, but I have to do it. I'm glad that I have almost 100 pics of her on my iPhone so I can look at her and be reminded when tomorrow gets inevitably crappy.

I can only hope that I remember what I need to say and have it in me to keep my mouth shut when I should and speak up when it's necessary. I also hope, against hope, that I can keep my emotions in check and that I don't bawl like a baby all over the people I have to deal with.


I'll keep you posted.